Between moments of dispensing wisdom, managing things
ecclesiastic, and occasionally intervening in world affairs, it seems
that earth's religious leaders had also learned computer programming.
One day, a great contest was held to test their skills.
After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained
for the last day's event: Jesus
and Mohammed. The judge described the software
application required for the final test, and gave the signal to start
writing code.
The two contestants feverishly typed away on their keyboards. Routines,
classes, applets and applications flew by on their screens at incredible
speeds. Windows, dialogs, and other intricate graphics began forming
on their monitors. The clock showed that the contest would soon
be finished. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning f
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Dear Pastor,
I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister.
Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.
Dear Pastor,
Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy
all week. I am Peter Peterson.
Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix
Dear Pastor,
My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about
something.
Robert Anderson, age 11
Dear Pastor,
I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't
give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise
in my allowance?
Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven
Dear Pastor,
My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every
week even if she has a cold.
With a timid voice and idolizing eyes, the little boy greeted his father
as he returned from work, "Daddy, how much do you
make an hour?"
Greatly surprised, but giving his boy a glaring look, the father said:
"Look, son, not even your mother knows that. Don't
bother me now, I'm tired."
"But Daddy, just tell me please!? How
much do you make an hour," the boy insisted.
The father finally giving up replied: " Twenty
dollars per hour."
"Okay, Daddy? Could you loan me ten dollars?"
the boy asked.
Showing restlessness and positively disturbed, the father yelled:
"So that was the reason you asked how much I earn,
right?? Go to sleep and don't bother me anymore
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was a senior in highschool. I went to school half a day and then worked at the hospital as a nurses aid.
I was feeling so chipper that day at work. I had on a brand uniform.
It was a pink dress. I had a brand new pair of white hose and a brand
new pair of white nursing shoes on. I felt good. I felt crisp and
clean.
I was just going around thanking God for my comfortable shoes and nice uniform. I just felt all that.
As I began to make my rounds, I went into an elderly man's room. He
was supposed to be restrained so he would not get out of bed.
I stood at the end of the bed and asked my patient how he was doing. I
went to move and my foot went into something very slick. The next
thing I knew, I was on the floor and this stuff was on my leg. I looked
down to find that my patient had moved his bed over, done the
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"Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
An ad for St.Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holdingstone
tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline thatreads,
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with
red
letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated
with its own
message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!"
A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to
sing at a church.
When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixedthe
outs
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Prayer is the key to Heaven, but faith unlocks the door. (Mosie Lister)
Trials are the food of faith.
No one is hopeless who hopes in God.
Little is much when God is in it!
Never try to carry tomorrow's burdens with today's grace.
We look upon prayer simply as a means of getting things for ourselves,
but the Biblical purpose of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself.
(Oswald Chambers)
Reading the Bible without meditating on it is like trying to eat without
swallowing.
God's love for us is not a love that always exempts us from trials,
but rather, a love that always sees us through trials.
God does not ask your ability or your inability. He asks only your
availability. (Mary Kay Ash)
Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the
impossible!
Those who walk with God always reach their destination.
It is my hearts desire that I must be NO more, that He be KNOWN more.
(Saheed B. Olalekan)
Here is a note from Saheed: "This quote is my life statement. I arrived
at that after much prayer. I was once a Moslem. Now Jesus is in His
right place in my life. In Christ alone is it worth living.
God specializes in things thought impossible.
Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's
grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the
need of God's grace.
God not only orders our steps but He orders our stops.
Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?
Happiness is in Heaven, but the joy is in the journey
