A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the
way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
*********************************
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking
at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible
and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from
a tree that has been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I
found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother
asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's
suit!!"
*********************************
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping
before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl
in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose,
will he hurt us?"
*********************************
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together
in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister
had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why?
Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the
church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
*********************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
*********************************
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite
knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother
by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the
King James Virgin?"
*********************************
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready
to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what
it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thous shall not
take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
*********************************
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from
the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as
she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
Amen."
**********************************
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle,
he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the
crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step,
step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine,
the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached
the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed
from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached
the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."
*******************************
One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up "during the
morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense
of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked
the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just
before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly
to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
*******************************
And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
*******************************
One student's prayer: "Now I lay me down to rest, And hope to pass tomorrow's
test. If I should die before I wake, That's one less test I have to take."
*******************************
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
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