A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

A little boy was watching his new baby brother who was crying full force.

"Where'd we get him, mom?" he asked.

"From Heaven," the mother answered.

The little boy wrinkled his nose and covered his ears with his hands and stated matter-of-factly, "This is probably why they didn't keep him there!"

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold," ........ At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you called God, Harold? The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church, asked: "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered soberly: "I asked God to teach me to whistle... And He just then did!"

A little boy's prayer: "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess."

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine," said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. I asked Him to help you put up with me."

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!"

People want the front of the bus; back of the church and center of attention.

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, a lot of folks must love our church!

Overheard: We serve coffee after church to get people awake before they drive home.

A light hearted prayer:

Dear God:

So far today, I've done all right. I haven't lost my temper, haven't been grumpy, nasty, selfish or overindulgent. I'm glad of that, but in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed and from there on I'm going to need a lot more help. Thanking you in advance. Amen